It s Come A Long Way From The First Draft - 1477 Words

This is the final draft of the essay. It’s come a long way from the first draft. The details are present and the thread is more clear. At least to me, the writer, it is. I’m proud of the elements I’ve chosen and of the way I’ve chosen to connect them. The use of freedom as a thread was difficult, yet the perfect challenge I needed. I love my thread, yet I’m not super confident in my imagery within the piece. I tried to incorporate more sensual imagery, but only accomplished visual imagery, a little bit of touch and smell. I’m proud of this piece merely because I managed to connect two things I absolutely love (nature and equine) with an issue we still face in this world, acceptance of others, ourselves and racism. Racism was displayed in the freedom taking of another man. Never did I think I would be able to connect these 4 completely different ideas in such a simple, yet complex way and absolutely love it. I’ve never been more excited about of a piece of writing and allowing people to read it than I am with this piece. There are so many things I’m proud of with this writing, but there are a few things I feel I’m weak in. I’m not quite sure everyone will agree with my thread being present throughout my entire essay, although I think it is, but maybe that’s because I wrote. I’m not quite sure if the repetition of the words ‘free’ and ‘freedom’ were effective or really necessary. And the imagery as I already said. I’m lacking the sense of taste as how do I represent taste withShow MoreRelatedI Am A Great Deal Of Anxiety Essay1145 Words   |  5 Pagesafter reading the three articles Donald M. Murray s Write Before Writing where he states the importance of pre-writing, Anne Lamott s Shitty First Drafts where she states it is normal to write a shitty first draft and Nancy Sommer s Revision Strategies of Student Writers and Experienced Adult Writers where she mentions revision and how its gone about with student writers and experienced adult writers. I now know writing is in fact a huge long process. Although I realize that what each one ofRead More Against Reinstating the Military Draft Essay1504 Words   |  7 Pages Against Reinstating the Military Draft On July 1, 1973, Congress chose to end the draft in favor of an All Volunteer Army. According to The Professional Bulletin of Army History, No. 27, the last man was drafted in December 1972 and reported for training in June 1973. Now, not only might the renewed military draft come back but also the age of compulsory service in the meat grinder might be extended from its former limit of 26 years up to 42 years of age. As Ken Adachi, the editor of Read MoreThe National Basketball Association Was Forever Changed1528 Words   |  7 PagesX was created to prevent high school players from entering the NBA when they were clearly not ready. It was also created to promote players at a collegiate level. â€Å"Article Ten† became known as the ‘One and Done Rule† because of its requirements. The rule was created to prepare high school athletes for the long nba season and all of the strain it puts on the body. College would help prepare these athletes by giving them a glimpse of the length of a long season. In Addition to the NBA would be presumedRead MoreProcess Essay930 Words   |  4 PagesWith each new football season comes a new fantast football season. New senses of hope and joy that this could be the year that you win it all start to set in. The preparation for the draft is as important as the draft itself. The first step to creating a successful fantasy team is to join a league well before the season. This is important because without joining a league it is impossible to make a winning team. Danny joined his league three weeks before his draft date, which will give him ampleRead MoreMuhammad Ali s Stand Against The Vietnam War1499 Words   |  6 Pagesbecause it showed that he was very courageous and also showed how much faith Ali had in the Nation of Islam to take a stand against not only the United States, but against the Vietnam War. The topic is important because it showed that if there s a will, there s a way and that you can take a stand against anything you want if you are determined enough, no matter the consequences. He stood up for himself and for his religion to show that the you can take a stand if you really believe that it is worth itRead MoreWhat Does Make You A Good Writer?945 Words   |  4 PagesShe was a leading researcher in the composing process which had her shaped and informed her writing. She mentioned that the writer must establish a â€Å"common ground† between themselves and the reader and we should have a target audience in mind. The first step is explaining how to step on closing that gap. It’s sometimes the critical difference such as age or background will be important. The reader knowledge about the topic, his or her attitude toward it. Most writers do more than just explaining theRead MoreCauses And Consequences Of Climate Change883 Words   |  4 PagesSecurity program, (Inaction on Climate Change: The Cost to Taxpayers). Looking at these reports, inaction on climate change has to stop and an action has to be taken. Additional reports from the Center for American Progress shows that after an analysis made, it is found that taxpayers spend nearly $136 billion total from fiscal year 2011 to fiscal year 2013 on disaster relief. This means an average of nearly $400 per household annually (Weiss Weidman, 2013). The report further states that these disastersRead MoreAsahi Breweries1638 Words   |  7 PagesDetail analyses and rationalities state in the following sections. Industry Analysis Japan s beer industry is concentrated and highly regulated. The industry was projected to grow by approximate 7.6% for 1988 as 1987 realized growth. There were mainly four kinds of beers: Dry, Draft, Lager, Melt. Consumer taste was graduating changing. Their preferences were switching from Lager beer to dry and draft beer. The government has tremendous power in this industry in terms of price and distributionRead MoreThe Discrimination Of Women And Women1291 Words   |  6 Pagespreference for male children, especially the first child. Eight days after the birth of a male child, a large party is held to celebrate the occasion. They are often held in enormous halls with large numbers of guests are invited. There is no equivalent ceremony for girls; however, recently some young Jewish couples have celebrated the birth of a daughter. Despite this, females are viewed by most as temporary residents who will eventually become a part of her husband s family. These practices are very discr iminatoryRead MoreWhy I Would Love : Mavs Moneyball?856 Words   |  4 Pagesa multitude of reasons why I would love to contribute to the site. Firstly, I ve been an avid reader for the better part of two years. I love the site and it s my go to place for all things Mavs, which is becoming harder and harder to find these days. Secondly, and more importantly, I absolutely love the NBA and the Mavs. My first true memory of the Mavs was Game 3 of the 2003 Western Conference Semi-Finals vs. the Kings. As I m sure you know, the Mavs were in what appeared to be an absolute